The Butt of the Joke

What is it about the fabric on the butt of a bathing suit?  Is the fabric such that it always sags?  Or is it just the mass amount needed to cover my ass?  Maybe it just gets tired and worn out as time goes by – not unlike the skin on my body.

I had youth on my side with the first pregnancy.  After # 2, my breasts resembled tennis balls in tube socks.  And # 3?  After that one, I visited every specialist under the sun.

Pelvis malfunction and a left hip always slipping out?  Physical Therapist

Lower back and left buttock numb?  Chiropractor

Developing bunions (found by way of visit for ingrown toenail)? Podiatrist

My husband, knowing it would no doubt get my goat (which it most certainly did), joked that he was going to trade me in for a newer model.  Nevertheless, through exercises, adjustments, and orthotics, I regained mobility.  But just as absence makes the heart grow fonder, so did I forget how much continued maintenance and exercise matters.  Gradually, my routine lessened, then, went by the wayside.

Two years later, I have a near-constant stitch where my left hamstring meets my butt.  The place where my abs weakened and spread now yawns open hungrily.  I have saddlebags where once there were all straight lines and angles.

Now, I’ve heard of how ladies in years past, like those found in Rubens’ paintings, were valued for their curves and wide hips, signifying their life-giving capabilities.  And I do enjoy a certain comfort with my body more now than at any other point in my life.  Once upon a time, I was extremely shy about my body, even though I had a ‘cute little figure’.  Now that I’ve seen it morph and grow and sag, I realize I should’ve flaunted it when I had the chance.  But after bearing it all to give birth and publicly breastfeeding, I enjoy a ‘take me as I am’ attitude and a pride akin to battle scars, I suppose.  Plus, there’s only so much stretch before an elastic won’t snap back into place.  Just like accepting what your body is capable of on a given day of yoga, I accept that there are certain realities about my current form I must accept.  It is what it is.

It’s also a source of great amusement – because as I tell myself so often – laugh so that you may not cry.  And it’s something to share with my friends as we grow older together.  Just the other day, I received this card in the mail from my dear friend.

Maybe with the increasing effects of gravity over the years, I’ll at least stay grounded  ☺

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