You fall in love and you can’t get enough of your heart’s desire. Every waking moment is spent thinking of, studying, obsessing over, and drinking in all that he or she is. He or she loves every bit of you in return and all is right with the world where birds chirp and the sun shines everyday.
And then the shine wears off.
Suddenly, endearing quirks become irritating. Spending so much time together becomes smothering. Familiarity may eventually breed contempt, but at the very least it keeps you from recognizing what it was that made him or her special in the first place. You can’t really even see the person at all.
Now before you think I’ve lost sight of our relationship, this is not about my husband and me.
This is about the cast of characters, particularly a young man named Dmitri, in my young adult novel.
I had sensed the growing frustration between us. I tried doing things differently to liven up the doldrums into which we’d wandered. I gave him space. None of this worked. In fact, the extra space felt surprisingly refreshing. Too freeing. I didn’t know if I’d ever want to return to the constraints of our relationship. Though I didn’t know how to fix it, I always felt guilty when he came to mind because of our unresolved issues.
Then one day, I opened a book. The voice on the page, the way the girl told her story reminded me of my Dmitri. I thought, if only Dmitri could be freed like that to tell his story. I opened my laptop and Dmitri spoke to me in ways he never had.
I’ve spent the last four days cavorting with him. In a blissful sort of oblivion, we’ve reunited, he reaffirming all I ever loved about him. I can’t catch my breath. I’m positively vibrating with excitement. When I’m forced to perform one of my daily obligations, I can’t wait until I can return to him.
So sorry I haven’t posted lately – I’ve been falling head over heels in love – again.