Cause and Effect

Wondering if you are a foodie?  Shop at Wal-Mart and see if you don’t come out frustrated.

Wondering if you should have children?  Borrow three children and take them along with you to Wal-Mart.

Wondering if you still struggle with anxiety and/or irritability?  Take your own three children along with you to Wal-Mart.

Not sure whether that neon blue frosting on your child’s cupcake is artificially flavored and colored?   Watch for pond slime diarrhea the next day.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

For every aisle of frozen fish fillet, there is the gaping hole of fresh bunches of cilantro.

For every idealistic preggo or wistful grandma, there is a mother clinging just barely to this edge of sanity.

For every woman struggling for balance, there is one thrown out of whack by hooligans hanging off her shopping cart.

For every over-zealous and genetically engineered diet choice, there is a revolting bowel movement.

No shit.

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9 Comments

  1. Hahaha – I see I should add to my list of reasons to not go to Wal-Mart. Ever.

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    • Jennifer Butler Basile

       /  July 1, 2014

      Didn’t start out as a diatribe against Wally World, but all of these life lessons did occur there!

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  2. Oh man. This one packs a bunch. It is so short, but brilliant and every word counts! I envy the fact you were able to write something so cohesive and awesome in this heat. My brain is totally fried. . . much like it would be after a trip to walmart with six kids. Super perfect post!

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    • Jennifer Butler Basile

       /  July 2, 2014

      A bunch of cilantro!? ha. Glad it resonated with you, though I hope your next shopping experience isn’t like it!

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  3. Thanks for the smile, while nodding my head in total agreement. Well said (or should I say, well written!)

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    • Jennifer Butler Basile

       /  July 2, 2014

      Glad it made you smile. Sorry you can relate 😉 Though glad I’m not the only one!

      Thank you!

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      Reply
  4. I detest going to Walmart!

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    • Jennifer Butler Basile

       /  July 3, 2014

      They know they got you with low prices and the ability to buy OJ and rubber cement in the same place. But it’s a taxing experience – to say the least. Often not worth it!

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