- You were sadly mistaken when you thought the sleepless nights of your child’s infancy were over.
- You really did forget how much they sucked.
- All that whining about being overtired on your ‘normal’ schedule is a gross overexaggeration.
- The winding roads leading out of camp will make your head swim like the Dreaded Corkscrew of Death rollercoaster you loved as an eleven year-old – because now you’re middle-aged and sleep deprivation does funny things to you.
- Sometimes it pays to delay dropping the winter comforter you removed from your bed last spring at the dry cleaners. When you realize you forgot a blanket, you can retrieve it from your car trunk. Needs to be cleaned anyway!
- No matter how tired you are, you will hear the ill-seated toilet clunk upon the floor when the child masquerading as an elephant rumbles downstairs to use it at 3 AM.
- That odd scritching sound you hear just before dawn is not the pitter-patter of your charges. A seasoned leader will later tell you it was the squirrels in the ceiling.
- Impressing upon children the skill of packing only what you can carry is like telling Imelda Marcos she needs to cull her shoe collection.
- Engaging caffeine is a love/hate relationship: love it now, hate it when you shake so much you can’t put any more in your body yet still feel like shit.
- You really do have a laissez-faire, no-nonsense attitude with your own children.
- Other people’s children may not know how to navigate your ‘tough tooties – time for bed NOW’ attitude.
- A short time after arrival, you will take on the ‘Eau de Camping’ – a subtle scent with notes of mildew and maple syrup.
- Crafting at 11 o’clock at night is totally on the table.
- Four to eight eager girls will demand on-pointe spatial relations skills simultaneously and impatiently – at 11 o’clock at night.
- Children who go to sleep at approximately one o’clock in the morning will bounce out of bed at approximately seven o’clock.
- Bounce is not a euphemism.
- Shaky balcony rails were meant to be leant on.
- All trap-doors, attic access points, and all-around off limits areas will be located and attempted to be entered.
- The limitless flow of last night’s enthusiasm will dwindle drastically when it is time to sweep the floor before leaving.
- There is a threshold for number of times to hear ‘It’s a Hard Knock Life’ sung at top volume.
- Even eight, nine, and ten year-old girls can be subject to hormonal swings.
- You will all remember this as a special time – a bond that can only be made in a sleep-deprived, survivor-type environment.
What Overnight Camping with Girl Scouts Will Teach You
Posted by Jennifer Butler Basile on December 9, 2014